Monday, October 6th

Start of a new week and it's Mom's Birthday so I can't forget to call her.

I have promised my wife to give me two weeks to make enough money working for myself that I can meet or exceed $350 a week. Doing the math on that, means that I need make four sales each week. Therefore, my goal should be to reach five sales a week.

This is attainable, provided that I finally go through every business card I have and make calls for appointments, followup, follow through and get all the paper work finished in a timely manner.

1) Make minimum of 5 appointments a day to close 5 sales a week
2) Go for walk
3) Do something around the house to help, like the garage.
4) Keep trying to cut out fat in my diet.

So today I will make go for a walk with my son or wife, my appointments and cut the lawn.

If I am to go back to school to retrain, I have decided to take the web designer course.

6PM. Had some success but not really....walked the dog, blew diet, to lazy to lift a finger, failed to call any new clients or book appointments. Kids , My wife and I are all stressed with the new custody arrangements and the kids aren't speaking to each other.

Well it's been 4 years since my last post

I am quite fascinated that since my initial posts 4 years ago, not much has changed in my work, finances, & home life.

My wife and I are very much in love, my daughter now lives with us full time, my son is still doing the 2 week transfer between homes, we sold the cottage, pay child support to my wife's Ex, got a consumer proposal to manage the repayment of our debts, still have the house, had an accident that wrote of the Van and am driving a price of shit. Still broke and living hand and mouth. My career since has been bouncing from one job to the next and I am still selling other peoples product to make a commission. Currently I have been marketing myself as an Internet Marketing Consultant having teamed up with a website owner who pays me for each sale. I am now working to develop myself and rebrand as my own company. So far it's just preliminary but I am feeling more confident that I can make a better living than I am now.

What I have learned from reading the blogs from 2004 is that I am still faced with the same problems. What I like about the 2004 blogs is that I set benchmark goals to meet on a daily basis. I would like to adapt that process again into my daily life starting now.

So, here it goes.......I weigh 230, need to walk the dog, garage is a mess, outdoors is a mess, house repair is a mess, work progress is not structured and still prone to chronic procrastination.......sound familiar??? LOL

Starting now, and hopefully lasting more than one month, I will structure my day to progress in each of 4 areas of my life.

1) Make minimum of 5 appointments a day to close 5 sales a week
2) Go for walk
3) Do something around the house to help, like the garage.
4) Keep trying to cut out fat in my diet.

I have no motivation

I forget when the last time I wrote in this was......its been a week atleast. The week was hard and yet I worked very hard at work. The kids have now gone back to their mothers so my wife and I have no kids so the week should be good....and I will be at the cottage for the first time in 3-4 weekends since my daughter started hockey....

But I am sitting here Monday morning at my desk not caring about work....I need the boss here to get me motivated and without it I just feel so lazy and have no drive. All I can think of is getting the fuck out of here and doing nothing but wasting my day.

I need motivation and someone to kick me in the ass. Where do I get this from. I am too weak to have it come from within.....so where do I get the drive and motivation to get off my ass and make the calls I must make.

I feel like such a loser most of the time and know that I have fucked away most of my life being lazy and selfish. My wife is an angel. My kids are doing really well but I cant seem to stay focused. I am calling the Doctor so i can tell him about how much difficulty I am having coping with the job responsibilities etc. I have no motivation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things have been out of sorts lately

For the past few days my wife and I have been passing like strangers in the halls etc which is so much unlike us. The week the kids arrive always seem to dampen our spirits so much since my daughter is becoming more and more a challenge while my son can be challenging but on much simpler levels. She is in the middle of her 7 day stretch and I know that she hates that and her period is just around the corner so that combined with my job stresses I am sure have created this blah feeling of late. Knowing us this is a temporary dip and it has happend before around pretty well the same things.

Today I was kind of successful in completing some of my work and was with the bosses for most of it. But as soon as I could sneak out from under them I did and came right home to see Kim and then watch 24. It is addictive for sure.....such powerful drama. I did the kitchen up nicely so that when my wife does arrive home its clean. But I didnt make any real progress at work, hey its Wednesday!!! and I didnt go for a walk or do anything in the garage. So I need to get things into gear again.

My goals will not change as I am having difficulty obtaining success with the limited amount I have set for myself. I really really need to keep diligently completing these goals. I have not failed, I've had some success but I am capable of so much more.

1) Make cold calls
2) Go for walk
3) Do something around the house to help, like the garage.
4) Keep trying to cut out fat in my diet.

I have no intention of stopping this process but really what I need to do is read this blog orver from top to bottom to see the ups and downs and look for paterns etc. Like I just read that i rated my last week a 6 out of 10. What would get me to 7 /10??? I will think on this...maybe breaking each task down into doing nothing, rates 0, doing alittle, rates a 1 etc for a total score....well my wife just drove up so thats it for tonight......I will work on that rating system.

Early wall

Its 3 pm on Tuesday and I have been slacking for about an hour. I feel no sence of urgency or drive and I have wanted to leave work since then. Having the boss keep his meeting this morning really meesed me up. I have worked steadily but have not made the number of calls I need to. Have made some but could make alot more. I am not sure why i feel so blah!! Somewhat stressed. I will likely get home and keep my promises about eating right and exercise and garage but work is a drag right now.

Tuesday after the long weekend

The past weekend was the long weekend in Thanks Giving so there was a lot of eating very rich food etc. Today I start back trying to eat more moderately. I went for a good long walk with my kids and the dog so I feel good about that. Also yesterday I spent some time working in the garage, so much so that my wife noticed it this morning when she went out to get the dog his food.

Todays goals for work are to 1) Finalize Outlook using day timer and binder notes for meeting with the boss today. 2) Book as many appointments as possible. 3) Do proposals us for presentation this week. 3) Continue walks with the kids and dog. 4) Work more in the garage. 5) Eat more moderately and better foods.
I am wary of this Wednesday since last week that was the day I hit the wall, however, because it is a short week I will either not hit eh wall or maybe hit it Thursday instead.

SECOND WEEK STARTING TODAY

Happy Thanks Giving. Today I would like to do a little something in the garage while my wife is out with her girls. Later on today she will come back and we will be by ourselves and then I am not sure what we will do. Last night and today have been a right off diet wise since its been thanksgiving and therefore lots of fattening food…but I can get back on track easily.

Since is the second week I want to reiterate that the success factor is to take just one day at a time. Last week I hit the wall only one day and was able to correct my behaviour such that I ended up have a good week. This week I will be very sensitive to Wednesday, which was hump day for me.

So this week I will keep the same goals; 1) watch what I eat, 2) Do some thing around the house, 3) work hard at work.

Made it to Saturday with a 6 out of 10 total score!!!!!!

Made it to Saturday with a 6 out of 10 total score!!!!!!!!!.

Well when I look back on the week it is clear that Wednesday was the day I was in crisis. The other 4 days of the week I worked well and hard to accomplish my job tasks so much so that my boss is pleased and I will likely see some real tangible results from my efforts. Yes, it would be all the better if I had worked hard on the Wednesday but I think that, judging from where I was the week before, I have come a long way in a short time.

My home goals did not fare so well. I started off well but failed to walk the dog or work around the house from midweek on. While that is not causing the same type of crisis, say that work would cause, it is still my goal to find a balance. I mean walking the dog and doing a small project each night just isn’t that hard to do. When my wife is on 3-11 shifts this next week and my kids are with me I believe that I will want to do these things.

My eating habits have improved but, again, I have a huge area of improvement since as the week ended my wife and I went out to dinner twice, spending money we don’t have, and we ate high fat food. Again, with the kids arriving Monday our eating habits will improve.

All in all, I am encouraged by what I accomplished. If I were to rate my success out of 10 I would have to give my self a 6 out of 10. Had I worked Wednesday it would have been a 7, had I accomplished my exercise and 8, watched what I ate, 9 and home improvements a 10 out of 10.

So my Goals for next week are simple. Aim for an 8 out of 10 score with my work being maintained for a full week, which happens to be a 4-day week due to the Thanksgiving Monday.

Bottom line; I am please with my conscious efforts in all the areas of my life but there is lots of room for improvement.

I am proud of the fact that I am prepared to continue into my second week with the same goals and desire to improve.