I have no motivation

I forget when the last time I wrote in this was......its been a week atleast. The week was hard and yet I worked very hard at work. The kids have now gone back to their mothers so my wife and I have no kids so the week should be good....and I will be at the cottage for the first time in 3-4 weekends since my daughter started hockey....

But I am sitting here Monday morning at my desk not caring about work....I need the boss here to get me motivated and without it I just feel so lazy and have no drive. All I can think of is getting the fuck out of here and doing nothing but wasting my day.

I need motivation and someone to kick me in the ass. Where do I get this from. I am too weak to have it come from within.....so where do I get the drive and motivation to get off my ass and make the calls I must make.

I feel like such a loser most of the time and know that I have fucked away most of my life being lazy and selfish. My wife is an angel. My kids are doing really well but I cant seem to stay focused. I am calling the Doctor so i can tell him about how much difficulty I am having coping with the job responsibilities etc. I have no motivation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!